Ed's Review Dot Com

Dimension Films, Neo Art & Logic, Intellectual Properties Worldwide (I),

Danielle Panabaker, Matt Bush, Chris Zylka, David Koechner, David Hasselhoff, Katrina Bowden, Jean-Luc Bilodeau, Meagan Tandy, Paul James Jordan, Christopher Lloyd, Ving Rhames, Paul Scheer, Gary Busey

In the previous film, Lake Victoria was filled with piranhas that came out of a fissure from and underground lake due to an underwater earthquake. We start this film with a news story about how Lake Victoria is now quarantined and is deserted. But not to give up a chance to make a buck, Chet (David Koechner) ia about to open a huge water park. Unfortunately, the fish are able to travel through a series of underground lakes and rivers and find their way to the water park just in time to feast on the kids back for another spring break! To make it much more appealing, Chet has hired David Hasselhoff (David Hasselhoff) as a lifeguard to make a public appearance. Meanwhile, the piranhas are having a field day munching on voluptuous bikini babes, right and left, in this heavy on the comedy sequel to the 2010 remake of the original 1978 film. Actually there was even an earlier remake as well in 1995!

The last go round, “Piranha” in 2010 was full of naked co-eds and extreme gore and violence. But it also came off as really scary and suspenseful, and they really played it straight. It was in some ways a much better film that his one. At least for horror and suspense fans. But this is a Dimension Films production, the makers of Scary Movie, and just as much as Scary Movie is different from Scream, Piranha DD is different from Piranha. This one goes straight for the outrageous comedy. As a result, it’s not really a horror film at all. The horror scenes here are setup for laughs, not for scare. There are some really hysterical lines in this film, and the things people do and say are way off the wall. Chet is such an insane water park owner that he’s a real clown. Hasselhoff spends the entire movie in self deprecating humor throughout, that is downright hysterical. But if you come into this hoping to be scared or on the edge of your seat, that’s not going to happen. It’s pure unadulterated low brow humor from start to finish. And I loved it! I was laughing at the jokes coming so fast, sometimes I had to rewind to hear what I missed. I really found this little film hysterical, and I really enjoyed it. I can’t rate it really high, as it’s not a classic film, but it was a wonderful diversion from a hard week for 90 minutes or so. The bloopers at the end, and the special features (including a short film about a poor boy whose mother hired John McEnroe to teach him to play tennis) is well worth renting the DVD.

If you love slapstick, and low class humor (Like Caddyshack or Animal House) you’re going to love this I think. I sure did, and I’m glad I took the time to watch it. It is R rated, and there’s a good reason. It has a feel of a Girls Gone Wild video sometimes, but that even makes it more funny. Trying to do this all with a straight face is hysterical. It’s like watching Stefon trying to get through a bit on Weekend Update on SNL without laughing. And from the bloopers, I guess they didn’t have it too easy either. Really well put together for the type of film it is. If you want to see the Scary Movie version of Piranha, here it is.

EdG – EdsReview Dot Com – A Movie Review Blog

FilmNation Entertainment, Premiere Picture, Echo Lake Productions (I)

Amber Heard, Mamie Gummer, Danielle Panabaker, Laura-Leigh, Lyndsy Fonseca, Jared Harris, Sydney Sweeney, D.R. Anderson, Mika Boorem

A young woman, Kristen (Amber Heard), is sent to a creepy mental institution with a past as dark and sinister as her own. She was caught burning down a farm house and determined to need help. Immediately she and the other girls are terrorized by a ghost, and each of the other patients in Kristen’s ward begin to disappear one by one, and that’s just the beginning of her long nightmare. Recruiting what’s left of her friends Kristen makes one noble attempt after another to escape.

This John Carpenter horror film is very spooky. The helplessness of the girls and their repeated attempts to save themselves from this nightmare with no results leaves us breathless. This is an excellent horror film, and John Carpenter certainly has not lost his touch with the genre. Extreme suspense and helplessness engulf us as we realize the poor girls have no way out. As they drop one by one, it appears there is no solution and Kristen still keeps digging for the truth as to what happened to the ghostly girl who seems to want to kill them all. It’s certainly a shocker, and the surprise ending may not be a surprise to everyone, but still, from the opening scene of the fire to the final credits there is no time to catch your breath. As good a nut house film as I’ve seen in a long while, this is great rental for a creepy autumn/late summer evening! Just don’t watch it alone!

EdG – EdsReview Dot Com – A Movie Review Blog

Overture Films

Timothy Olyphant, Radha Mitchell, Joe Anderson, Danielle Panabaker, Christie Lynn Smith, Brett Rickaby

You’ve seen this movie.  You’ve seen this movie time after time after time.   It’s the same old thing.  There are NO surprises.

Why take a 1973, George Romero film that is not very good, and remake it into a brand new 2009 movie that’s not very good?  I can’t think why, as at least the original was set in Evans City, Pa, (outside Pittsburgh) and had that going for it.  Filmed right near Romero’s “Night of the Living Dead” which was in Zelienople, Pa.  I think I’d prefer the original to this boring overused plotline.

Let’s see, is it suddenly aliens, mutant spiders, or radioactive undead zombies?   It doesn’t reallymatter.  It’s all be done.

Good guy local sheriff,  evil government/army,  misunderstood monsters, evil military commanders,  all the same characters are still here, and this could be a half way decent 1959 Twilight Zone episode in 30 minutes, but to try to stretch this out to a feature film is torture. There is no reason to rent this movie unless you’re a fan of really awful B movies.

Trouble is, they had somewhat of a budget, and it’s somewhat modern movie making, so it’s hard to make fun of it just for the sake of how bad it is, cause I don’t think it’s supposed to be bad.

Now some Netflix people loved it and rated it very high.  Why, I’m not sure.  Perhaps they haven’t seen a lot of movies, or maybe they were in a really good mood when they watched it, but for me it just didn’t even come close.