Ed's Review Dot Com

GS Films

Josh Cooke, Greg Grunberg, Odette Yustman, Rob Benedict, Kym Whitley, Tom Arnold, Henry Winkler, Lisa Lampanelli

Andy (Josh Cooke) is a lonely advertising guy, still mourning the breakup with his fiance who is looking for love when it walks into a bar. In walks Vanessa (Odette Yustman) and it’s love at first sight. But she takes off before things can get going, so Andy follows her, right into a sex addicts group meeting. So naturally Andy pretends to be a sex maniac while getting to know Vanessa better. But the group contains a whole bunch of freaks who immediately begin to interfere with Andy’s plans but even more, his personal life. He and his partner are trying to land a critical account, but the new freaks in his life make it hard to pay attention to work. Plus there’s the only rule of the group. No one is allowed to date anyone else in the group. As Andy’s world falls apart around him, his roommate tries to steal his new girl.

This is a direct to video film that is available as a Watch Instantly film on Netflix. It’s a familiar story and contains some strange characters. The primary actors are not very familiar names, but well qualified to pull off their roles. There have been so many films of this genre that it’s easy for them to know how to act it, as there have been some big stars in very similar roles. But having Tom Arnold, Henry Winkler, and Lisa Lampanelli (who plays a waitress who’s kind of a freak herself) is kind of fun. This is the perfect role for Lisa as she’s most noted for the many raunchy stand up routines and the roast circuit. It was an enjoyable little film, and had quite a few pretty funny moments. It’s not likely this would have made any money in the theater which is probably why it was released on DVD directly, but that is ok. For a simple brainless movie to watch when there is nothing on TV or in your DVD queue to watch, this will do nicely for a few yucks. It’s a simple formula and very predictable, but still funny in parts and worth watching. The actual scenes are not very bad, but the language and descriptions and the situations are certainly too raunchy for the younger set.

EdG – EdsReview Dot Com – A Movie Review Blog

Millenium Films, Nu Image Films, Rogue Marble

Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Eric Roberts, Randy Couture, Steve Austin, David Zayas, Giselle Itie, Charisma Carpenter, Gary Daniels, Mickey Rourke, Hank Amos, Terry Crews

The Expendables are a gang of mercenaries, for hire, wherever in the world they’re needed. Of course they’re all misfits but each has a skill. Barney Ross (Stallone) is the leader of the group. Lee Christmas (Statham) is a knife enthusiast. Ying Yan (Jet Li) is a martial arts expert. Hale Caesar (Terry Crews) is a heavy weapons specialist. Toll Road (Randy Couture) is a demolitionist. Gunner Jensen (Dolph Lundgren is simply a loose-cannon sniper. These guys are hired by the mysterious Mr Church (Bruce Willis) to head down to a small South American Island to assassinate the ruthless dictator. While there, Barney meets Sandra (Giselle Itié) a rebel and when the team escapes the island, Sandra stays behind and they have to decide whether to risk their lives to save her, or to walk away. This is the hardest mission they’ve ever faced.

This movie was highly anticipated, and loved and hated in droves. It was number one at the box office when it opened, thanks to a lot of non-competition I think, and also due to an over abundance of chick flicks and a shortage of blow em up-blast em up boy movies. This is strictly a guys movie! It’s strictly bad ass blow up everything and shoot everything in sight type movie. But for those who love lots of action and explosions, this is going to fit nicely. Don’t expect a great involved intriguing story line. It’s see the bad guys, shoot the bad guys, but some of it is very entertaining. The whole argument/competition about whether guns or knives are better is funny. (Bullets get there faster!). The South American scenery is interesting and Giselle Itié is certainly an exotic beauty. But like the typical Stallone, Lundgren, Seagal, or Norris movies of the past, this is exactly what it is supposed to be, Action, Action, and more Action!!! I didn’t rate it extremely high because of the fact that I am not a huge action movie fan. Shooting people just to shoot people is not my thing so much. But I realize that those who simple love action will give it a 5. Those who hate violence will give it a 0. I’m in the middle. I see it as a really decent action movie, but Raiders of the Lost Arc, it ain’t. If you’re an action fan, you’ve got to see this. If you’re not, feel free to rent something with a little more plot.

EdG – EdsReview Dot Com – A Movie Review Blog

Warner Bros. Pictures, Legendary Pictures, Mad Chance

Josh Brolin, John Malkovich, Megan Fox, Michael Fassbender, Will Arnett, John Gallagher, Jr., Tom Wopat, Michael Shannon, Wes Bently, Julia Jones

Jonah Hex (Brolin) is a scarred bounty hunter with warrants on his own head.  He’s on the run, when the US makes him an offer of freedom from the charges in return for stopping a terrorist who is about to attempt to wreak havoc in the nation.   Turnbull (John Malkovich) is the one who murdered Jonah’s family while Jonah was made to watch.  This is what disfigured Jonah in the first place.  Turnbull faked his own death, but joined with a bunch of Conferederate supporters to try to attack and punish the union.  Hex has to stop them before July 4th.

I really did not enjoy this movie in the least.  It is based on a comic book, and I must say that I’m not typically a comic book movie fan, but this one was particularly BAD in my opinion.  There was hardly any story and everything was really ho-hum.  Megan Fox was especially awful.  Her performance was like a high school play.  I think Josh Brolin tried hard, but his speaking due to the disfigurement of his face made him really hard to understand like someone talking with lockjaw.  The worst part is though that I could just not keep my attention on the story.  It was so dull that I found myself think of other stuff almost constantly.   I was really disappointed in this film.  Some users are talking about the worst movie of the year.  Well, it certainly, to me, was the worst with the caliber of stars that were in this film.   I just can’t figure out how it got released like this. The movie can never really decide what kind of movie it was. Disjointed at best, and just not very good. I’d say skip this one unless you’re a fan of the comic book version, although I’m not sure how well they did in capturing the comics either.

EdG – EdsReview Dot Com – A Movie Review Blog

Movie Rentals Releasing Tuesday Feb 15, 2011

• Unstoppable
• Waiting for “Superman”
• Will You Meet a Tall Dark Stranger
• Kites (Indian)

Overnight Films, Troublemaker Studios, Dune Entertainment III

Danny Trejo, Robert De Niro, Jessica Alba, Steven Seagal, Michelle Rodriguez, Jeff Fahey, Cheech Marin, Don Johnson, Lindsay Lohan, Tom Savini

Machete Cortez (Danny Trejo) is a complex guy. He’s much, much more than he appears to be, but a corrupt organization hired him to assassinate the senator. But as he’s about to take the shot, he notices that he’s in the scope of a second shooter gunning for him. The ones who hired him send out orders to kill him, but that’s much easier said than done. Jessica Alba is Sartana Rivera, an ICE agent who is torn between her people and her job. Cheech Marin is Padre Cortez, Machete’s brother who is now a priest and has taken a vow of non-violence. But he’s definitely Machete’s brother! This film also stars lots of other characters played by Robert De Niro (the senator), Steven Seagal (drug kingpin extraordinaire), Lindsay Lohan, (sexy model), and even Don Johnson (who humorously is presented in the titles as “Introducing…..Don Johnson”).

This is a “Grindhouse” film. I’m not a big fan of these types of films, but as the genre goes, this is pretty decent. It’s got tons of blood and guts and and is very over the top violent. There’s plenty of nudity too from people you wouldn’t normally expect perhaps. But all in all it’s got somewhat of a story behind it. It’s about power, illegal immigration, and a plan to control the border. Since it’s Grindhouse, it’s cheesy with lots of comedy in the dialog. It’s obviously not designed to be Shakespeare. This is just what it is, however this one has a slew of decent actors making fun of the whole concept. Well, maybe that is a little too hard, but the whole thing seems obviously tongue-in-cheek which is what we would expect. But it’s not cheaply made. It’s got really decent acting and sets. And with as many stars as are in this film, they can just about kill anyone and it doesn’t matter. And a lot of people die. I am not a big fan of this movie, but as I’ve said, it’s one of the better in the genre, so don’t be afraid if you enjoy this type of movie to go for it. It’s not all as bad as many other reviewers have stated.

EdG – EdsReview Dot Com – A Movie Review Blog