Ed's Review Dot Com

Paramount Pictures, Bad Robot, Spectrum Effects,

Mary Elizabeth Winstead, John Goodman, John Gallagher Jr.

Michelle (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) has just left her boyfriend and is driving down a rural road in Louisiana when she suddenly spins out of control and blacks out. When she awakens, she is shackled to the wall on a mattress in a strange bunker. Not knowing what’s going on, Michelle meets Howard (John Goodman), the man who rescued her and brought her to the bunker to save her life. She soon learns of another resident of the bunker as well, but as Howard weaves his fantastic tale of a major attack killing everyone in the world, and only they are safe in this bunker. Howard is a conspiracy freak, and has been ready for years for an inevitable attack, and now it’s clear he is completely certain there is no life outside the bunker they are trapped in.

This science fiction/horror film is hardly related to the original Cloverfield at all. Other than the name, the movies are not very similar, and certainly not cursed with the same evil that was in the first film. By that I mean the shaky hand-held camera that would like to make you throw up after about 10 or 15 minutes. This one is much more steady, and professionally filmed, and is downright creepy. John Goodman plays the crazy (?) old man very well, and we’re not quite sure if he has any idea what he’s talking about. But neither do the characters. Surprisingly, there is really just the three people in the entire movie, and it is mostly done in the bunker, but an impressive bunker it is. The movie switches gears in the last half hour or show and becomes more of a horror film. The first hour is more a captive trying to escape type film. But the suspense is tremendous, and though it’s not classic horror, it has it’s moments. But it does ratchet up a notch at a time until you’ll find yourself on the edge of your seat. Marky Elizabeth Winstead did an excellent job in the lead. You could make an argument that John Goodman has the primary character, but I don’t think so. He is certainly good in his role, but this is Winstead’s movie to make or break, and she nailed it. Though this film is nowhere near as horrifying as the original Cloverfield, I would recommend this one many times over the original. Keep in mind though is it a psychological thriller first, and not really horror until the last 20% of the movie. But when it does come out of the darkness it is really good. All in all I found this a very nicely constructed movie and I can recommend this one for sci-fi/horror fans, for sure.

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Blumhouse Productions, Paramount Pictures,

Chris J. Murray, Brit Shaw, Ivy George, Dan Gill, Olivia Taylor Dudley, Michael Krawic

The house is back! A new family has moved into the house, and naturally they find a box of old tapes hidden away. When they watch these, they start to see the spooky paranormal entities appearing. Even the old family kids who are now dead come back as little children to torment these new fools that bought this house.

This is, what?, the 37th or so sequel to this series? Trust me, I didn’t spend a penny to go watch this, as the whole thing has grown very tiring to me. This one is one of the worst of the lot, I’m afraid. Well, maybe not. Some of the other versions sucked pretty bad too. This is nothing more than what the rest of them were, so if you love that kind of thing, this is another one. This is just more of the same, and I’m just over it at this point. So sorry this review is so brief, but I didn’t care for the story, the filmmaking, the script (if there is one), the acting, and the sudden loud sounds that are all there are to scare you. If you are really that desperate to be startled, I have a suggestion. At the park, they have a game where people pay a buck or two to shoot a stream of water into the clowns mouth. If you stand with your back to the game, and wait for someone to play, at some point the balloon will pop and give you the same chill this movie would. Save yourself some time, and don’t patronize these folks any more. Maybe they can come up with something just a teensy bit new. And I typically LIKE horror films.

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Parts and Labor, RT Features, Rooks Nest Entertainment, A24,

Anya Taylor Joy, Ralph Ineson, Kate Dickie, Harvey Scrimshaw, Ellie Grainger, Lucas Dawson

A Puritan family is deeply religious living in the 1600’s in New England. The live on their farm alone and work hard to try to eke out a living in a harsh climate and location. But the children are forbidden to ever go into the woods, and the family seems afraid of what might be in there. But when one child is stolen, and another dies mysteriously after visiting the wood, there is something very evil going on here. This is an art film, and homage to classic horror films of old when it was all about what you don’t see that scares you.

This film is wildly split between the defenders and the haters. Most critics enjoyed the film, whereas Joe Cinema simply hated it. This is NOT another Paranormal Activity found footage film. This is a real work of art. That being said, there are many reasons you very well might want to avoid it like the plague. First, the dialog is done in Olde English and is very hard for the average English speaker to follow. You damn near need subtitles to follow it. This is one problem for a lot of people. Secondly, it’s slow evolving. We get to know the family members and their fears and quirks, but we don’t really know who is involved in what’s going on and who is not. Yes, there is definitely a demon working in this forest, but he’s certainly not what you’d expect. With a very creepy soundtrack and a great setting, it’s a beautiful film in that respect, but it doesn’t rely on the blood and guts and huge soundtrack noises to startle you. We study step by step what is going on here. Another problem is that though the last fifteen minutes or so of the film is very suspenseful, it’s one of those where you’re not given all the answers wrapped up with a pink ribbon and handed to you. You’re going to have to work to figure this out, and I promise you when you’re done, you still won’t have it all figured out. So this will ruin it for the standard theater goer who enjoys modern day horror with lots of clever kills. “How about we suck him into a giant vacuum cleaner?” It’s not at all like that, so be forewarned. With all that being said, I enjoyed watching this movie, and I found myself really trying hard to understand to dialog to get the gist of what they were saying. I must admit I was impressed how even the little children spoke in the Olde English very proficiently. How did they do that? But I didn’t love this film, and run to give it 5 stars, as I do feel it has it’s flaws, and I really would have appreciated a little bit more help with what it all means. There must be a lot more to the story of where this film came from, and I’d love to find a book, or some background on why it’s like it is. But it was solid enough for me to recommend it if you’re able to get by the common faults that perturb people. IF you want to give it try, it is a truly old style artistic horror film, and worth the price.

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Huayi Brothers Media, Lakeshore Entertainment, STX Entertainment,

Lauren Cohan, Rupert Evans, Jim Norton, Diana Hardcastle

Greta Evans (Lauren Cohen) is a young American woman hiding out from the abusive ex by taking a job for a few weeks as a nanny for an English family Mr. and Mrs. Heelshire (Jim Norton, Diana Hardcastle). Their son Brahms is an unusual fellow. When he was eight years old there was a terrible fire, and Brahms didn’t make it out, so the family keeps a doll named Brahms as their son, and expects Greta to watch over him while they take a holiday for a few weeks. But Brahms has very specific rules and though Greta’s only assistance comes from the grocery boy Malcom (Rupert Evans), it is soon quickly aware that as she disobeys the rules once the parents are gone, Brahms is very angry. This new horror film was a nail biter.

There were a lot of good movies to see, but due to the trailer, I just had to see this film right away. I was not disappointed. I don’t know why dolls are creepy, but this one as did Chucky and Anabelle before, really gave me the creeps. Filled with never-ending tension and lots of screams, the theater actually applauded this when it was over. On the other hand, we were at an early evening screen that was filled with young teens who were definitely the rudest audience I have seen in a long time. Talking out loud throughout, and going up to the back to make shadows on the screen were just a couple of their annoying pranks. But aside from that (and many thanks to the gentleman who yelled “Shut Up” as loud as he could), I really enjoyed this movie. I’m a horror buff, and I can see where a lot of folks may get turned off by the way things are rather simple, but I felt is was quite creepy. This is Lauren Cohen’s first attempt as the lead in a horror film, and I felt she did a great job. She reminds me a lot of Jamie Lee Curtis way back in the original Halloween with here fresh approach to being first laughing, thinking it’s a joke, to realizing that her life is in danger and this is deadly serious. She fights well, and stand up like a hero instead of letting everyone else rescue her, and she’s tough, yet very charming and sweet. I thought the story was original, with a couple twists along the way that turn things around several times. I enjoyed this one, and regardless of what the critics say, I recommend this one as a great way to scare yourself half to death.

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AI-Film, Lava Bear Films,

Natalie Dormer, Taylor Kinney, Yukiyoshi Ozawa, Eoin Macken

Sarah (Natalie Dormer) gets a call from the Tokyo police department that her twin sister Jess (Natalie Dormer) has gone into the infamous Suicide Forest on the north side of Mt. Fuji on a school field trip (she’s a teacher) and was lost and has not returned and is presumed dead. But Sarah can feel that she’s still alive with a kind of intuition, so she sets out to Japan to find her sister. The Suicide Forest is a very, very dangerous place. There are very strict rules for going in there, and no one wants to be a guide. But in her despair she meets Rob (Eoin Macken) who offers to take her with a local Japanese man who is familiar with the forest and finds the suicide victims for the local police to haul out. Together they head deep into the forbidden forest and face the always present dangers in there, in this brand new horror film.

This film was bashed a lot by the critics. I am a horror fan, and I like films like this one. The ending is quite twisted, and rather hard to figure out. I like the open ending but I can see several theories on what actually happened and what was illusion. I found the story very refreshing as the Suicide Forest is a real thing, and the Japanese government forbids photography in this location so the movie had to be filmed elsewhere. I don’t need to explain the truth of this place as it is well covered in the film, and the research I was able to do pretty much agrees with what we are told in the movie. But the story itself I found really creepy. The “scariness” of the film is what seems to be bashed most, as I am sure people are used to partially undressed teen-age girls running through the woods being chased by a guy with a machete, but this is much more cerebral than that which is what the director was after. I found the unknown to be very suspenseful, and had a good time trying to figure this one out. I was tempted to rate it higher than 4.0 stars, but I do have to admit that even though I enjoyed the film, there are some problems. The acting wasn’t real bad, especially if you are a fan of the Japanese and Korean horror films that have crossed over to the U.S. in recent years. There is no major blood and guts, but it is shocking and builds quite a bit of suspense as we come crashing to the somewhat surprise ending. If any part of the film could use a bit more work, perhaps it is the ending. But the truth is, the way he ended it does allow you a lot of wiggle room to come up with your own meaning to it all. I liked this film, and was glad to see that it exceeded it’s budget so it wasn’t a loss for the producers. Go see it if you like smart horror films, rather than the brainless ones.

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