Ed's Review Dot Com

Dimension Films, Neo Art & Logic, Intellectual Properties Worldwide (I),

Danielle Panabaker, Matt Bush, Chris Zylka, David Koechner, David Hasselhoff, Katrina Bowden, Jean-Luc Bilodeau, Meagan Tandy, Paul James Jordan, Christopher Lloyd, Ving Rhames, Paul Scheer, Gary Busey

In the previous film, Lake Victoria was filled with piranhas that came out of a fissure from and underground lake due to an underwater earthquake. We start this film with a news story about how Lake Victoria is now quarantined and is deserted. But not to give up a chance to make a buck, Chet (David Koechner) ia about to open a huge water park. Unfortunately, the fish are able to travel through a series of underground lakes and rivers and find their way to the water park just in time to feast on the kids back for another spring break! To make it much more appealing, Chet has hired David Hasselhoff (David Hasselhoff) as a lifeguard to make a public appearance. Meanwhile, the piranhas are having a field day munching on voluptuous bikini babes, right and left, in this heavy on the comedy sequel to the 2010 remake of the original 1978 film. Actually there was even an earlier remake as well in 1995!

The last go round, “Piranha” in 2010 was full of naked co-eds and extreme gore and violence. But it also came off as really scary and suspenseful, and they really played it straight. It was in some ways a much better film that his one. At least for horror and suspense fans. But this is a Dimension Films production, the makers of Scary Movie, and just as much as Scary Movie is different from Scream, Piranha DD is different from Piranha. This one goes straight for the outrageous comedy. As a result, it’s not really a horror film at all. The horror scenes here are setup for laughs, not for scare. There are some really hysterical lines in this film, and the things people do and say are way off the wall. Chet is such an insane water park owner that he’s a real clown. Hasselhoff spends the entire movie in self deprecating humor throughout, that is downright hysterical. But if you come into this hoping to be scared or on the edge of your seat, that’s not going to happen. It’s pure unadulterated low brow humor from start to finish. And I loved it! I was laughing at the jokes coming so fast, sometimes I had to rewind to hear what I missed. I really found this little film hysterical, and I really enjoyed it. I can’t rate it really high, as it’s not a classic film, but it was a wonderful diversion from a hard week for 90 minutes or so. The bloopers at the end, and the special features (including a short film about a poor boy whose mother hired John McEnroe to teach him to play tennis) is well worth renting the DVD.

If you love slapstick, and low class humor (Like Caddyshack or Animal House) you’re going to love this I think. I sure did, and I’m glad I took the time to watch it. It is R rated, and there’s a good reason. It has a feel of a Girls Gone Wild video sometimes, but that even makes it more funny. Trying to do this all with a straight face is hysterical. It’s like watching Stefon trying to get through a bit on Weekend Update on SNL without laughing. And from the bloopers, I guess they didn’t have it too easy either. Really well put together for the type of film it is. If you want to see the Scary Movie version of Piranha, here it is.

EdG – EdsReview Dot Com – A Movie Review Blog

New in theaters this weekend Friday September 7, 2012

• Batchelorette
• Branded
• The Cold Light of Day
• For Ellen
• Girl Model
• Hello I Must Be Going
• The InBetweeners
• Toys in the Attic
• The Words

Lots of movies coming out this week, but not a whole lot of excitement I’m afraid. “Batchelorette” is an R rated comedy featuring Kirsten Dunst and Isla Fisher about old friends who get together to throw an awesome party but instead get to try to save the wedding. “Branded” is another R rated film, but this time a Orwellian, evil governments have set out to control the population, type film. “The Cold Light of Day” is familiar story about a family who goes to Spain on vacation, only to get caught up in a chase by spies who want certain contents of a mysterious briefcase. Bruce Willis and Sigourney Weaver star. “For Ellen” is about wannabe rock star Joby Taylor (Paul Dano) who wants to make it at all costs, but finds out after he signs divorce papers to get some money from selling the house, that he’s been denied access to his six year old daughter Ellen. “Girl Model” is a documentary about the model industry in Siberia and Tokyo of all things. It’s the look at the model industry in very unusual locations. Hit? I doubt it. 🙂 “Hello I Must Be Going” is a Sundance film which is a love story, however unusual, about a recent divorcee who return to her parents home in Connecticut. “The In-betweeners” is a raunchy graduation story about a trio of friends who head off to the island of Crete for a holiday and to taste the wild side of life with hilarious results. Based on a British TV Show. “Keep the Lights On” is an animated film featuring some great voice talkent including Forest Whitaker, Joan Cusack, and Cary Elwes about a lovely princess held prisoner for rescue by her toy friends. Finally “The Words” is a romantic drama featuring Bradley Cooper, Zoe Saldana, and many other stars about a guy who has reached the heights of literary achievement with a hugely successful book that he didn’t write.

Last Weeks top Box Office:

1 – The Possession
2 – Lawless
3 – The Expendables 2
4 – The Bourne Legacy
5 – ParaNorman

Pierce/Williams Entertainment, Zero Gravity Management, Future Films

Cameron Goodman, Peyton List, Tony Curran, Cullen Douglas, Dave Power, James Snyder, Tom Kemp, James Rye, Jackie Cowls, Roy Souza

Two girls are returning from a vacation in Mexico, but arrive in Los Angeles in the middle of the night. With no way to get home, they decide the best way is to share a ride on a shuttle. Bad choice. Two frat boys offer to share the ride, plus one nervous accountant. The driver pulls off the highway onto side streets to “avoid traffic” and suddenly they’re on the ride from hell with the psychotic driver. He won’t let them escape without dire consequences, but what he wants is hard to tell. This is a roller-coaster ride from start to end.

This is a late night cable type horror film that is actually not too bad. The actors are unknown, but they do a very good job. The tension is tremendous, and it’s suspenseful from beginning to end with no let up. The guy who plays the driver is really creepy. And they’re not two whiny girls, this times, but some chicks with some guts. When people are pushed too hard, they tend to either give up or fight back. These guys fight back! This is a surprising good “B” film, and one that’s well worth watching if you like mystery and suspense mixed in with your horror. I enjoyed it. The tables are turned so many times, it’ll make your head spin, but it never lets up. This is one of those hidden gems that are very hard to find.

EdG – EdsReview Dot Com – A Movie Review Blog

Inferno Pictures Inc., Don Carmody Productions, Caramel Film,

Seann William Scott, Jay Baruchel, Alison Pill, Marc-André Grondin, Eugene Levy, Liev Schreiber

Doug Glatt (Seann William Scott) is a bouncer at a club, but isn’t contented. Ross Rhea (Liev Schreiber) on the hand, is a well known hockey player who is an “enforcer”. That’s the guy who teaches the other team a lesson when someone needs his clock cleaned. Doug accidentally gets into a fight, and easily knocks out the other guy. Since this was witnessed by the coach of the Halifax Highlanders, Doug is offered a job as a hockey player. Only trouble is that Doug doesn’t know how to skate. But the coach takes him under his wing to protect his new star player, and before long Doug gets the chance to climb the ladder toward a final showdown with Ross that you know has to happen.

Stiffler (American Pie) is a character that Scott has a hard time losing. But here he goes again with another not too bright, but incredibly cool guy who wins you over in the end. This film is pretty predictable and standard fare, but hey, it’s the best hockey film I’ve seen since “The Mighty Ducks” I reckon. Scott plays it pretty decent, and some of the other characters are a hoot. This is actually a pretty decent movie, even though you’re like to find it in the bargain bin. It’s not very well known, but it’s certainly got its moments. I really enjoyed it, and would recommend it to anyone who likes dumb sports films with lots of fights (just like hockey) and some good fart jokes and that kind of thing. Certainly it’s sophomoric, but what’s wrong with that. A little left hook is just what you need sometimes to make you forget the problems of the world. Certainly not award material, but it’s just what it sets out to be…a dumb jock movie with lots of jokes and some blood on the ice. There are several well developed characters that I don’t want to discuss so you can get to know them yourself. If you’re in the mood for a totally brainless man flick, go for this one. It’s fun.

EdG – EdsReview Dot Com – A Movie Review Blog

Movie Rentals Releasing Tuesday September 4, 2012

• The Five-Year Engagement
• Safe
• Woman Thou Art Loosed: On the 7th Day
• Piranha DD
• High School
• Touchback