Ed's Review Dot Com

British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC), Revolution Films

Steve Coogan, Rob Brydon, Claire Keelan, Margo Stilley, Rebecca Johnson, Dolya Gavanski, Kerry Shale, Paul Popplewell

The Trip is a mockumentary featuring Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon cleverly named Steve and Rob, who set out on a food trip across England to visit the best restaurants in the country. But these two guys try to entertain themselves on the road by talking about their career highlights and doing impressions of famous actors and developing scenes.

I didn’t get into this movie in the least. I am aware that many people find it hysterical, but there is not point to this in the least. There is no opening and no ending. It just begins with Rob complaining the Steve does not know the first thing about wine tasting. We get to watch the two arguing with each other about the finer points of properly tasting wine. They go through what seems like hours of discussion over such hysterical (NOT) subjects as announcing a show by Trevor Eve on BBC 1, attempting hundreds of ways to make the announcement in different inflections and with different emphasis. Later we get to see 45 minutes of the King announcing to his men that they will be in battle tomorrow morning, and many will die, but after a continental breakfast at 7:30. The battle will be 10ish. There’s very little material, and it’s very much repeated to death. We see what seems like hours of these two driving through the countryside repeating the same things over and over and over again. I don’t understand people who get this kind of humor. Perhaps if you are really familiar with English pop culture, and/or fans of Steve and Rob. I am neither, and this really was hard to sit through. It’s the first film in a long time that I really, really wanted to turn off after 20 minutes, but I sat through the whole thing just to see if it got any better. This was worse to me than watching paint dry, and I urge you to avoid this at all costs.

A horrible film!

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Six Entertainment

Dieter Laser, Ashley C. Williams, Ashlynn Yennie, Akihiro Kitamura, Andreas Leupold, Peter Blankenstein

Two American girls, Lindsay (Ashley C. Williams) and Jenny (Ashlynn Yennie), on a holiday in Germany, are off to a party when they get lost and their car breaks down. They seek help and wind up at a remote villa — and soon find themselves trapped in a nightmare. Dr. Josef Heiter (Dieter Laser) kidnaps them for his demented experiment to create a human “centipede.” The plan includes removing their kneecaps so they must walk on all fours, then surgically connecting them mouth to anus to a Japanese man to create a bizarre human chain.

Often cited as the most disgusting film ever made, I obviously had to see it. Believe it or not, this is a trilogy, and there are rumored to be two more of these coming along. Certainly the concept of the first person feeding the second person and the second person feeding the third person is rather disgusting and may make you want to lose your lunch. But really, it’s not so bad watching this. It is a bizarre concept, and really weirdly performed. The Japanese guy doesn’t speak anything but Japanese, and he’s really pissed at being caught in this web. Meanwhile, the doctor is German, but speaks English all the time (for our benefit, not the girls I guess). It’s not nearly as disgustingly shown as it is described, and is not very graphic, really. But the acting is very amateur and the dialog is crap. Also the executing leaves a LOT to be desired. The police are extremely stupid and the doctor is an ass. All in all it’s like a bunch of high school kids thought up the concept and tried to film it on their Dad’s video camera. Not really scary, and you don’t really care about the dumb dames or the Japanese guy either, so there’s not payoff if they do escape.

Really the only reason to watch this, is the same reason I watched it. Just to say I did when some guy someday asks, “Has anyone ever seen The Human Centepede?” I’ll be able to say, Yeah, it was awful! This is Watch Instantly on Netflix, and if they do lose all the Starz movies, along with Mash, Green Acres, Friends, and Barney episodes, it may be all that’s left to stream in a few months, so you may not have much choice. 🙂

Ok, so I saw it, now what?

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Werc Werk Works

Shirley Henderson, Allison Janney, Ciarán Hinds, Dylan Riley Snyder, Michael Lerner, Ally Sheedy, Paul Reubens, Michael K. Williams, Charlotte Rampling, Renée Taylor, Emma Hinz, Gaby Hoffmann

This is the story of three sisters, Trish (Allison Janney) and Joy (Shirley Henderson), and estranged Helen (Ally Sheedy), each married to degenerate men, as they ponder the virtues of forgiving and forgetting. As Joy visits Trish to escape problems with her perverted, druggy husband, Trish is unaware that her own ex-husband, a pedophile whom she’s claimed is dead, is now out of prison.
This is also the story of Trish’s two sons, the older who is away at school and trying to forget, and the younger son who acts way beyond his years, is scared to death that he is going to turn out just like his father.

This is actually a sequel to filmmaker Todd Solondz’s film Happiness. I admit that I did not see the first film, and having seen this one, I’m not sure that I would want to. I can’t really compare this one to the first film, so I’m reviewing it as a stand alone film. Perhaps knowing the first film could possibly change my opinion of this one, but I doubt it. My complaint with this film is that is way, way too artsy for my taste. The story does come around and it all makes sense, but you’re going to be so confused by the time you get half way through it, it’s really annoying. The characters are so dark. It’s pretty well acted, in that respect, but the characters are so unlikable that it is hard to get into their stories. The conversations between Trish and her younger son are disgusting and someone ought to call child services. The other sisters are just as nuts. It’s one of those stories that I just cannot recommend unless you are really fond of these art-house films. For me, it was a little bit interesting and very much annoying. If you’re a fan of this film, I’d love to hear from someone who really likes it, to find out why. I just couldn’t get into it, and do not recommend it, even as a rental.

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Modern VideoFilm, TLG, Younggu-Art Movies

Harvey Keitel, Hyung-rae Shim, Michael Rispoli, Jason Mewes, Jocelin Donahue, Jon Polito, Blake Clark, Josh Rosenthal, Paul Hipp, Logan Shea, Debra Mooney, Jack Kehler

Mafia Boss Don Carini (Harvery Keitel) is about to pass on the title of Godfather to his son. However his illegitimate son, Young-gu (Hyung-rae Shim) is a bit funny in the head. Still, Don Carini brings him to America and begins grooming him to take over the family business. Mostly through luck, he rescues the daughter, Nancy Bonfante (Jocelin Donahue) of the other mafia boss Don Bonafante (Jon Polito) and sets off on a quest to win her heart and possibly either unite or destroy both families.

Apparently Young-gu is a character from Korean TV. I’m not Korean, so I was not aware of that. So I went into this film expecting a relatively funny Godfather parody. Instead, it is extremely stupid! This is one of the biggest wastes of time that I have ever seen. I was sorely disappointed at the lack of humor in this film. We had some decent stars in this film, but they were completely wasted. It was just silly. There was nothing to make it worth the time watching it, and I’d recommend avoiding it at all costs. The concept was not so terrible. A mafia Don’s illegitemate son is being groomed to take over the family, but the execution was so awful, that there was nothing done with the premise that made it more than a silly show. Perhaps someone gets it, and understands the value of this film. If you do, I’d be very happy to have a comment below explaining what I’m missing, but I found it a real dud!

View the trailer if you dare, and see for yourself the quality of humor in this movie!

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Menageatroz, Mod Producciones, Focus Features

Javier Bardem, Maricel Álvarez, Eduard Fernández, Diaryatou Daff, Cheng Tai Shen, Guillermo Estrella, Hanaa Bouchaib, Luo Jin, Cheikh Ndiaye

Uxbal (Javier Bardem) — a divorced father raising two children was diagnosed with terminal prostate cancer. He is determined to atone for his life as a black marketeer in this engrossing character study that unfolds in the slums of Barcelona, Spain. Uxbal is involved in a lot of illegal activities, from human trafficking to drug dealing and everywhere in between. Uxbal has an ex-wife who is bipolar and is very abusive of the children every time he turns his back. He knows the children won’t survive with her, but as his time is running out he has to figure how to support them.

This is a highly accredited foreign film, all in Spanish. The DVD has English subtitles. The movie is L-O-N-G!!! It’s over 2 1/2 hours and for no logical reason that I can see. The story is very, very slow. It’s a dark, sad character study, and nothing seems to happen. There are long dragged out scenes of talking and talking, in Spanish, so for those of us who don’t understand it, it’s long dragged out scenes of reading and reading. I know this was nominated as best foreign film, and I know Javier Bardem was the first performer in a 100% Spanish role who was nominated for best actor, but this is not the kind of movie I can enjoy. Now I know that some people love this type of film. These are the ones who hang out at film festivals and art theaters and attend brunches where the hidden meaning of The Great Gatsby is discussed ad nauseum. Although I typically like films that make you think and have strong characters, I don’t think this really has either. Be forewarned if you want to watch it. Drink lots of coffee.

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